Adult in Training

So I was chatting with my Aunt Pauline today about American Idol.  This season is pretty lame, and there aren’t that many good contestants, in my opinion.  Which doesn’t really count, since I know nothing about music.  But, nonetheless, there you have it.  And this week was “70’s Week”.  All I really remember about music from the 70’s is the one tape that my parents had in the Astro for road trips.  And it stank.  So I didn’t expect much this week.  Which is why I was surprised that I knew some of the songs.  But what I am really waiting for is: 80’s Week

I was born in 1985.  Which means that I missed out on five glorious years in the 80’s and was useless for the rest of them.  While I can’t say that I missed out on the stir-up pant craze (even though I wore the stir-ups outside of my shoes, to avoid that odd-looking knee-bump that makes it look like your knees are always bent) I missed out on quality things, like learning the dance to “Thriller” and wearing lacy, fingerless gloves while dancing to Madonna.  I would trade My Little Pony in a heartbeat.    So now I have to live the best decade ever vicariously through my aunt and VH1’s “I Love The 80’s” in all it’s incarnations.  It’s sad.

The reason I think the 80’s are so fabulous is probably the same reason I love to watch the first rounds of American Idol: It’s a train-wreck.  The 80’s were a glorious train-wreck, in the best sense of the word.  And I feel like I missed so much of them.

For one thing, I have a terrible memory. So for me to remember anything about the 80’s, I would have to remember things before I was five.  Want to know what I remember?  Blowing out the candles on my second birthday cake and… being scared for this kid in my JK class because he climbed out of the window one day – for no reason that I can remember.  That’s it.  At one point I was the proud owner of a black velvet dress with three ruffles in green, pink and gold metallic organza.  Better than stir-up pants by far on the fashion disaster scale.  Santa brought it for me, and I loved it dearly. 

But for me, that’s not enough.  The only thing I was singing along to during the 80’s was Fred Penner.  And New Kids on the Block, we can’t forget them.  My mom enjoyed many a New Kids’ concert from the comfort of our living room, don’t let her tell you otherwise.  My skills were such that I could perform the songs while doing my own choreography – which on more than one occasion involved an exercise trampoline.  But does that really compare to the cultural phenomenon that was Thriller?

And so that’s why I’m jealous.  The 90’s were fun an all, and we had some good times, but my heart will always belong to the decade that got away.