Adult in Training

On MTV they have a show called “Made”.  For my Canadian readers who may not know, the point of the show is: people write in and are like “Blah blah blah I need skills for this or that reason.”  and then MTV hires someone with those skills – whatever they may be – to teach the skills to the unfortunate person, and then the unfortunate person isn’t so unfortunate. I love this show, because it fills my “Laughing at Unfortunate People” quota.  Because, if we are honest, at least one of the criteria for choosing the unfortunate people has to be the amount of laughs the learning process will generate. But secretly, I’ve always wanted to be Made.

I know the first thing I have going against me is the fact that I’m no longer in high school. And that technically I should be done College.  So there’s that.  And I have a really supportive family, so they probably wouldn’t laugh in my face when I told them I was being Made.  So there’s that.  But my ace in the hole: being The Most Uncoordinated Person Ever!  I think that would make for some good laughs.  Not to blow my own horn, but I think I bring a fair amount of comedy value to the table.  Now all I have to do is pick something to be Made into.

So far, I have these things:

• A dope dancer (but it will be hard because I have no rhythm)
• A magician (hard though, since magicians don’t give away their secrets)
• A snowboarder (but I’m sort of taking care of that myself)
• A girl with a job (this might be a boring episode)
• A dog whisperer (beneficial, since Avi is the devil’s spawn)
• A skateboarder (like snowboarding, but more dangerous for me)
• A bagpipe player (no one believes me, but I love the bagpipes)

A pretty good list if you ask me.  However, I think you have to be, like, under 20 to go on the show.  So there’s that I suppose.  Stupid rules.  Age descimination!  Just like “Fear Factor” descriminates against Canadians.  I almost had Momma Gonzo adopt me so that Berman and I could dominate on “Best Friends Fear Factor”.  We even practiced eating disgusting things.  And anything becomes easier when there’s $50 000 on the line.  And sophomore year, I showered with an African Cave-Dwelling Spider, ask Gonzo or Berman.  Scary.  And not by choice I might add.